I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.Douglas Adams (via kushandwizdom)
If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.Albert Einstein (via kushandwizdom)
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?Yup
An owl landed in a bar
deAR SIR, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIZARD?
YOU’RE a baby
I’M a baby
WE CAN BE BABIES TOGETHER