when shots are fired but you have a good comeback
well at the end of the movie it really was just hazel
i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:
“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”
and i was like woah
thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten
guys just think about how applicable this is to EVERYFUCKINGTHING
Turns out that dragons are real and they come from South Africa (Latin name ‘Smaug gigantaeus’)
So this happened at Subway the other day
- Me wearing my Pizza John shirt at subway:
- Sandwich Artist: Who's that guy?
- Me: Um... John Green.
- Sandwich Artist: I've heard that name before. Is he like running for president?
- Me: No.. He wrote some books. You've probably heard of The Fault In Our Stars.
- Sandwich Artist: oh yeah. That thing . Well he should run for president. I'd vote for him, since I take it from your shirt he's a pizza fan. I'm pro pizza.
Next time you are having dinner with a Bahraini dignitary, don’t embarrass yourself by confusing the Queen’s abaya with a burqa.
so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.
i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy